Well, the time has finally come.
I have officially been on American soil for 4 days. On day two I had my first Chipotle in a year. Ironically, it was the first burrito the ignoramus employee had ever made in his life, so he completely botched it and the whole thing tore open within three bites. I was on the verge of tears (think Patrick Bateman when he realized the superiority of Paul Allen's Business bard. That's bone.) I cannot begin to describe my utter disgust and loathing towards this incompetent dingbat. I have been dreaming of this first burrito for months and he completely ruined it. He put the peppers in before the rice. Instant disaster. Did he honestly think, just by looking at me, that I didn't want the cilantro enhanced rice? It took every ounce of self control not to assault him and ask for it to be remade by the Mexican chica with gold frames on her teeth. She has skill, unlike the no-talent-assclown in charge of my meal. Moving on, albeit bitterly.
It's a very odd feeling. I anticipated a massive sense of relief upon my arrival, but so far it has been anything but. I got to catch up with tons of friends on Saturday night, despite being caught in the Twilight Zone that is jetlag. That was great fun, but it only made me want to move into the city more. Compared to Australia, you get incredible bang for your buck in terms of accommodation. Some girl friends had a house warming party and their place was absolutely glorious. I need to move into the city, stat. It has also been great to catch up with my parents and I will see my sister in a week or so.
Without trying to sound like your typical faux-cultured college student who spent a semester drinking with Americans in/and around Italy and came home donning capri pants, obnoxious leather sandals, and some sort of beaded jewelry and bragging about cheap wine and fast women... it really has been a culture shock being back in my beloved motherland. I'm not saying that I would ever want to have an Australian accent, but there is something about it that suggests a more lighthearted and congenial attitude than that of an American, in your face, accent. I guess it is similar to a pleasant southern accent (south east aristocrat....not alabama degenerate, natural disaster victim, trailer park swine). Don't get me wrong, midwesterners are kind, lovely people, but the formality of social interaction is extremely shocking at this point. I don't think I used the word "Mister" for an entire year. Thats not a word of a lie. Unless I was casually mocking someone...Ohhhhh check out Mr. Big Shot, etc.
On the subject of social interaction, it has been very difficult to stop saying a few aussie slang terms. First off, "mate" is horribly difficult to replace with something as boring and American sounding as "man" or "dude." I used to bank on those, but I really have learned to enjoy "mate." Unfortunately, that is COMPLETELY unacceptable to use in American dialect. A couple more subtle terms/phrases/sounds that are proving difficult to eradicate are:
1) Mmmmmm - Used when in agreement. Need to get rid of it because I don't like it at all.
2) Ya Yaaaaa, No - Used when someone is asking you something towards which you will provide a negative response. The ya's are a way to segway into your turn to talk.
3) Awwww, yaaa, listen - Another conversational segway that I catch myself saying
4) Cheers- Now, this is debatable. The way I see it, it can be an unconventional way to sign off emails, notes, texts, etc, BUT only if you haven't just spent a year in Australia. In my case, it just makes me seem like I want the attention and I think I am really cool because I've been away for a year. (See aforementioned faux-cultured douche)
5) Aw Craike! Get a dog up ya, ya flaming gallah! - Casual insult I threw at someone the other night without thinking twice about it. Totally american, right?
Aside from the accent, the culture will definitely be missed. My personality gelled very well with the Aussies because I am typically a pretty laid back guy. That being said, I have been raised to bleed red, white, and blue (oh wait, that's their colors too, ummmm, crimson, porcelain, and azure?) and to work hard and be happy with my American values. In the coming months, this will mean completely abandoning the blithe existence in which I have relished for the last year. Its time to buckle down, find a job, save some green backs, and move into the city!
I guess this will be my last blog post, which is sort of depressing. It has been a very fun way to keep you all updated and, hopefully, a little bit entertained. I will probably start a new life blog that will be far less interesting, but I enjoy writing and ranting, so it will happen. I just need to think of a catchy title. I don't think Wes Up Over is too good.
Thanks to everyone for following and I hope it was as good for you as it was for me. Cheers Mates!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Exodus
Well, the lacrosse season is over.
We made it to the semi-final and on a rain-soaked pitch covered with areas of nearly 10 square yards where the thought of dodging is a complete joke, the Footscray Bulldogs lost to Surrey Park 9-8. We were down by 3 with five minutes to go. Eventually we tied it up with a minute to go and had ALL the momentum. That is, until we got a minute slash called on us. They manged to get a one on one and score with 20 seconds left and won the ensuing face-off. It was a rough loss, but it was the best season in team history, so there was much cause for celebration. And celebrate we did.
Apart from mandatory post game beers, the import players (yanks, as we are so graciously called) are invited (read: forced) to participate in the age-old tradition of "Pole to Pole."
The Footscray Lacrosse club is situated on about an acre of land with the capability to make 4-6 full fields. The Pole to Pole tradition is a test of endurance, stomach capacity, confidence, and, perhaps most importantly, showmanship.
To begin, each import (3 yanks and 1 Japanese goalkeeper who takes about an hour to drink half a beer) is given a pitcher of beer. As I have surely mentioned, the concept of light beer is STRONGLY frowned upon by Australian males. It is akin to drinking a Mike's Hard Lemonade with a straw in the states. That being said, our pitchers were filled with Victoria Bitter, the Budweiser of Australia. After being about 5-6 beers deep at this point, chugging and entire pitcher in front of a hundred or so rabid players and fans expecting a serious performance is quite a daunting task. Well at least I can take down Tai, our lightweight friend from the Orient. Wrong.
As we started the debauchery, we Americans are somewhat pacing ourselves to get past the foam, but still holding our own. By the time we are about halfway finished, Tai is celebrating his much deserved victory. What a snake in the grass! He absolutely dominated us while various members of the crowd were shouting "Pearl Harbor!!" Whatever, we dropped da bomb. Twice. That settles that.
After we finish the pitchers (I got third place, miserable performance), we are instructed to go into the locker room and "get our kit off" because we are running to the end of the field and back in the nude. In the cold. With a hundred or so watching and filming.
Now, I am a decorated veteran in the art of streaking (Women's Highschool Lacrosse Semi-Final (whoops, that was the baseball team, right?), Mary Markly Cafeteria during Sunday Brunch, Law Quad countless times, etc. etc.), but there has never been a significant presence of filming equipment. Oh, well, we thought. Lets put on a show. After the initial run to the other end, all four of us linked shoulders and skipped back, then proceeded to slide on our stomachs through the patches of mud. Classic. Riley had to do this a few months ago with a bum knee, which is impressive, but ours was voted the "best pole to pole ever."
The madness continued through the night capping off a great experience playing lacrosse in Australia.
In other news, my room mate Jack is leaving Australia in a few short hours. Having him leaving is really making me excited to get home. I have a few things to look forward to in the next few weeks, but as much fun as I have had in OZ, it is time to get home and start a real life. The experience of living in utter poverty has been quite eye-opening and taught me some great lessons. I still think welfare is bullshit even though I could qualify for it here in a heartbeat. Won't stoop to the level of a societal leech anytime soon.
My last day of work is on Friday and I will then have about two weeks to tie up all of the loose ends and say my good-byes/see you laters. The great thing about traveling, especially in a place like Australia, is that fact that you meet and become close friends SO MANY people from all over the place because you are all in the same boat. Many of these people are compulsive travelers and are making plans to visit the US. I let them know how much our girls will melt like butter when presented with an Aussie accent. They book flights immediately. Girls, don't let me down!
I'll probably do a few more posts when I am off work as I will have plenty of down time so keep checking in!
TaTa for now and whatever you do, don't read Anthony's blog. He told me that he doesn't have to do it for class. Rather, he has been so moved by WesDownUnder that he wanted to copy me. He begged for me not to tell anyone because he is really embarrassed. He frequently is asking me for advice on humor and wit. Clearly, my advice has not set in as his blog is completely devoid of anything remotely funny. Just kidding...but seriously.
AREEEBA DARE-CHEE
We made it to the semi-final and on a rain-soaked pitch covered with areas of nearly 10 square yards where the thought of dodging is a complete joke, the Footscray Bulldogs lost to Surrey Park 9-8. We were down by 3 with five minutes to go. Eventually we tied it up with a minute to go and had ALL the momentum. That is, until we got a minute slash called on us. They manged to get a one on one and score with 20 seconds left and won the ensuing face-off. It was a rough loss, but it was the best season in team history, so there was much cause for celebration. And celebrate we did.
Apart from mandatory post game beers, the import players (yanks, as we are so graciously called) are invited (read: forced) to participate in the age-old tradition of "Pole to Pole."
The Footscray Lacrosse club is situated on about an acre of land with the capability to make 4-6 full fields. The Pole to Pole tradition is a test of endurance, stomach capacity, confidence, and, perhaps most importantly, showmanship.
To begin, each import (3 yanks and 1 Japanese goalkeeper who takes about an hour to drink half a beer) is given a pitcher of beer. As I have surely mentioned, the concept of light beer is STRONGLY frowned upon by Australian males. It is akin to drinking a Mike's Hard Lemonade with a straw in the states. That being said, our pitchers were filled with Victoria Bitter, the Budweiser of Australia. After being about 5-6 beers deep at this point, chugging and entire pitcher in front of a hundred or so rabid players and fans expecting a serious performance is quite a daunting task. Well at least I can take down Tai, our lightweight friend from the Orient. Wrong.
As we started the debauchery, we Americans are somewhat pacing ourselves to get past the foam, but still holding our own. By the time we are about halfway finished, Tai is celebrating his much deserved victory. What a snake in the grass! He absolutely dominated us while various members of the crowd were shouting "Pearl Harbor!!" Whatever, we dropped da bomb. Twice. That settles that.
After we finish the pitchers (I got third place, miserable performance), we are instructed to go into the locker room and "get our kit off" because we are running to the end of the field and back in the nude. In the cold. With a hundred or so watching and filming.
Now, I am a decorated veteran in the art of streaking (Women's Highschool Lacrosse Semi-Final (whoops, that was the baseball team, right?), Mary Markly Cafeteria during Sunday Brunch, Law Quad countless times, etc. etc.), but there has never been a significant presence of filming equipment. Oh, well, we thought. Lets put on a show. After the initial run to the other end, all four of us linked shoulders and skipped back, then proceeded to slide on our stomachs through the patches of mud. Classic. Riley had to do this a few months ago with a bum knee, which is impressive, but ours was voted the "best pole to pole ever."
The madness continued through the night capping off a great experience playing lacrosse in Australia.
In other news, my room mate Jack is leaving Australia in a few short hours. Having him leaving is really making me excited to get home. I have a few things to look forward to in the next few weeks, but as much fun as I have had in OZ, it is time to get home and start a real life. The experience of living in utter poverty has been quite eye-opening and taught me some great lessons. I still think welfare is bullshit even though I could qualify for it here in a heartbeat. Won't stoop to the level of a societal leech anytime soon.
My last day of work is on Friday and I will then have about two weeks to tie up all of the loose ends and say my good-byes/see you laters. The great thing about traveling, especially in a place like Australia, is that fact that you meet and become close friends SO MANY people from all over the place because you are all in the same boat. Many of these people are compulsive travelers and are making plans to visit the US. I let them know how much our girls will melt like butter when presented with an Aussie accent. They book flights immediately. Girls, don't let me down!
I'll probably do a few more posts when I am off work as I will have plenty of down time so keep checking in!
TaTa for now and whatever you do, don't read Anthony's blog. He told me that he doesn't have to do it for class. Rather, he has been so moved by WesDownUnder that he wanted to copy me. He begged for me not to tell anyone because he is really embarrassed. He frequently is asking me for advice on humor and wit. Clearly, my advice has not set in as his blog is completely devoid of anything remotely funny. Just kidding...but seriously.
AREEEBA DARE-CHEE
Monday, August 30, 2010
oh yeah...
I forgot to mention this in the last post...the video documenting Riley and my trip has been finished for a while, but due to the lack of good internet availability, I will have to wait until I get home to post it. Its worth the wait. Be jealous. Be very jealous.
11 months down, 1 to go...
I truly never thought this day would come. The day that I realize that I will be returning to the US of A in a few short, but high intensity weeks.
The main focus of life right now is lacrosse and work. Lacrosse is going very well. We beat the #1 team (whom the footscray lacrosse club has never beaten in its history) for our last game of the regular season, Following a bye week we had the first final. The system is really weird here. We were ranked #2 at the end of the season and the top 4 teams make the finals. On saturday, we played #1 Williamstown for the second time in two weeks. The #3 and #4 teams played just before us. The loser of #3 and #4 was eliminated from the finals. We had a tough loss in front of a couple thousand people, but luckily because of our position at #2, we live to fight another day.
This saturday we will play #3 Surrey Park. If we win that game we will play Williamstown in the Grand Final.
Its pretty odd playing against Williamstown. They are regarded the same way as Michigan is in the MCLA (not to mention their maize and blue kits). They hardly ever lose and they have the swagger to match. One of their stud players was an attackmen in the MLL for a while. To make it weirder, our colors are Green and White, so I feel like a certain degenerate little brother playing against someone in maize and blue. Wish us luck!
In terms of work, our business has doubled since the arrival of the FIRST GAP IN AUSTRALIA right across the hall. I don't know whether I am more baffled at the fact that GAP had not made the move to Australia, or the fact that people are actually excited about its arrival. I mean...sure, it stands for the pinnacle of western society (namely, middle-class America), but how long will it take them to realize that once people of my generation wore out our last pair of baggy carpenter jeans with bottom cuffs big enough to fit ski boots that aside from the casual pair of boxer briefs, GAP has become merely a faint memory into a time of braces, squeaky voices, unbridled awkwardness, and learning how to prevent run-on sentences in grammar school?
I am not pretending to be some master of fashion, but there is absolutely zero reason for there to be a 2 hour line just to have the ability, nay, the PRIVILEDGE to spend your hard earned dough on something that is backed by the the Anti-Christ Sarah Jessica Parker. Hopefully people will soon realize this and get their panties, or boxer briefs as the case may be, out of a bunch and stop causing mass hunger and caffeine induced hysteria.
Oh well, gotta keep food on the table, right?
My roommate Jack, and last surviving member of the original crew out here is leaving in a week. It would be pretty rough being more or less a one man wolf pack, but at least I have all of the lacrosse boys. They are a good time. Trust me. Trust. Me. Its pretty odd to think of all of the travelers that I have become close with whilst in Australia, I will be the last man standing. We all planned on doing a year, but for various reasons, people cut their time short. Screw that. One year. Count it.
That being said, I am extremely excited to get home. Just the thought of a refridgerator and pantry full of hearty snacks and meals is enough to warm my loins. Once we start to consider unlimited wireless internet and , MY GOD, ON DEMAND TELEVISION! HD TELEVISION! A COMFORTABLE BED! A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!! I repeat...a CAR!!!!, thats when I have to control myself in public. Football season...ugh.
These various voids in my life have inspired my to make a top 10 list of purely material things that I miss in order of importance:
1)Bountiful Supply of Food (at least while I am living at home)
2)Unlimited Wireless Internet
3)The Ability to Drive My Own Car...on the right side
4)Comcast Digital Cable...one can only watch some much cricket, scrubs, two and a half men, and simpsons re-runs
5)Chipotle/Taco Bell
6)Unlimited Cell Phone Data Usage on iPhone
7)American Sports in crystal clear 1080p (or whatever it is now)
8)My guitars...serious withdrawls
9)Cheap Beer
10)Cheap Beer from the Lantern
I'm sure the list could go on for ages, but I am being kicked out of this internet cafe and I need to scrape together some money for dinner.
Now to find a job...craike
The main focus of life right now is lacrosse and work. Lacrosse is going very well. We beat the #1 team (whom the footscray lacrosse club has never beaten in its history) for our last game of the regular season, Following a bye week we had the first final. The system is really weird here. We were ranked #2 at the end of the season and the top 4 teams make the finals. On saturday, we played #1 Williamstown for the second time in two weeks. The #3 and #4 teams played just before us. The loser of #3 and #4 was eliminated from the finals. We had a tough loss in front of a couple thousand people, but luckily because of our position at #2, we live to fight another day.
This saturday we will play #3 Surrey Park. If we win that game we will play Williamstown in the Grand Final.
Its pretty odd playing against Williamstown. They are regarded the same way as Michigan is in the MCLA (not to mention their maize and blue kits). They hardly ever lose and they have the swagger to match. One of their stud players was an attackmen in the MLL for a while. To make it weirder, our colors are Green and White, so I feel like a certain degenerate little brother playing against someone in maize and blue. Wish us luck!
In terms of work, our business has doubled since the arrival of the FIRST GAP IN AUSTRALIA right across the hall. I don't know whether I am more baffled at the fact that GAP had not made the move to Australia, or the fact that people are actually excited about its arrival. I mean...sure, it stands for the pinnacle of western society (namely, middle-class America), but how long will it take them to realize that once people of my generation wore out our last pair of baggy carpenter jeans with bottom cuffs big enough to fit ski boots that aside from the casual pair of boxer briefs, GAP has become merely a faint memory into a time of braces, squeaky voices, unbridled awkwardness, and learning how to prevent run-on sentences in grammar school?
I am not pretending to be some master of fashion, but there is absolutely zero reason for there to be a 2 hour line just to have the ability, nay, the PRIVILEDGE to spend your hard earned dough on something that is backed by the the Anti-Christ Sarah Jessica Parker. Hopefully people will soon realize this and get their panties, or boxer briefs as the case may be, out of a bunch and stop causing mass hunger and caffeine induced hysteria.
Oh well, gotta keep food on the table, right?
My roommate Jack, and last surviving member of the original crew out here is leaving in a week. It would be pretty rough being more or less a one man wolf pack, but at least I have all of the lacrosse boys. They are a good time. Trust me. Trust. Me. Its pretty odd to think of all of the travelers that I have become close with whilst in Australia, I will be the last man standing. We all planned on doing a year, but for various reasons, people cut their time short. Screw that. One year. Count it.
That being said, I am extremely excited to get home. Just the thought of a refridgerator and pantry full of hearty snacks and meals is enough to warm my loins. Once we start to consider unlimited wireless internet and , MY GOD, ON DEMAND TELEVISION! HD TELEVISION! A COMFORTABLE BED! A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!! I repeat...a CAR!!!!, thats when I have to control myself in public. Football season...ugh.
These various voids in my life have inspired my to make a top 10 list of purely material things that I miss in order of importance:
1)Bountiful Supply of Food (at least while I am living at home)
2)Unlimited Wireless Internet
3)The Ability to Drive My Own Car...on the right side
4)Comcast Digital Cable...one can only watch some much cricket, scrubs, two and a half men, and simpsons re-runs
5)Chipotle/Taco Bell
6)Unlimited Cell Phone Data Usage on iPhone
7)American Sports in crystal clear 1080p (or whatever it is now)
8)My guitars...serious withdrawls
9)Cheap Beer
10)Cheap Beer from the Lantern
I'm sure the list could go on for ages, but I am being kicked out of this internet cafe and I need to scrape together some money for dinner.
Now to find a job...craike
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Home Stretch
G'day all!
It has been quite a while since I have updated this bad boy. The last time I wrote was just before headed on a quick weekend trip down the Great Ocean Road. That trip was very fun. It is an absolutely amazing road. Driving on the wrong side of the road around hairpin turns with sheer drops into the ocean require extreme concentration. Unluckily for Riley, he chose to drive first...
On our way there we found a Thirsty Camel Drive Through Beer Store. A concept which I still find hard to come to grips with. Suspect franchise aside, we picked up some beers and all of the non-drivers started sipping (which is totally legal in Australia, relax mom) before the real drive began. Before we knew it, there was a party going on in the car and poor Riley had to suffer through not only having to watch the road as opposed to the scenery, but maintaining complete focus. Sucker. The rest of the trip was fun. The 12 Apostles are exactly what you would imagine: breathtaking for about an hour then you go home. That weekend was merely a warm-up lap for the mammoth road trip to come.
Given the window of opportunity of a three week mid-season break from lacrose, Riley and I used his final weeks in Australia on the road completeing the majority of the Australian East Coast. And it was sweet.
I made sure to bring along the ole video camera and I am half way through a video that documents our trip. I won't spoil any details, as the video will be up here and on vimeo within a week, but here is a basic outline. And by basic, I mean less that bare bones.
Day 1: Wake up/stay up until 4:00 am to get a cab to Melbourne Airport. Fly to Brisbane, which is in Southern Queensland (the most northeastern territory). Pick up the Campervan. Drive to Surfer's Paradise. Walk around various surf shops realizing that we are too American/unable to surf/broke to buy any of the fresh mondo tubular clothes. Drive to Byron Bay. Realize that we have entered the greatest place in Australia, as you will see in the video.
Day 2-5: Hang out and do various cheeky activities in Byron Bay.
Day 6: Begin the route to Sydney, stopping over in some random fishing town for the night.
Day 7: Wake up in the van parked on the beach. Drive to Sydney to see Casey Krauss and her friends for the night.
Day 8: Check out Sydney and decide to stay another night
Day 9-10: Buy lackluster camping supplies and head into the wilderness of the Blue Mountains to camp/hike. Nearly freeze to death at night and sweat profusely while hiking out of the valley. Use compass. Feel like Bear Grylls.
Day 11-14: Stay in various random towns along a stunning coastal drive ending in Melbourne. Get lost a few times. Bask in own Glory. Enjoy depleting hygene.
As the video will show, the road trip was an amazing time. A great send off for Riley.
The last few weeks have been fairly routine. Work, Lacrosse, etc. On a positive note, two nights ago a great friend from earlier in the trip came back to Melbourne and is living with us. He is a MASSIVE Liverpool Soccer fan and it was pretty brutal to watch the demise of England's World Cup Dreams with him last night. He is a horror. It was fun to see the US do fairly well, but in the end...We don't like soccer right? Unless we win that is. Its nice having a history of mediocrity and cynicism to fall back on after losing to Ghana. I'd like to think of it as letting others have a turn with the shiny new toy that is dominating everything. Enjoy it Ghana. You'll be back to doing...well...ummm...whatever it is that you do when you aren't practicing for the world cup. Herding?
This week will end on a very sober note as I will be missing the single greatest day to be an American (all things considered, that must be a pretty damn good day): The Fourth of July.
Even though I am having an amazing experience in Australia, there is nothing in the world that I would rather do than arrive at the Dobbins household at 8:30 am to begin everyone's favorite day of the year.
8:30 am: Break into first ice cold Miller Lite in a red solo Cup from one of four kegs.
8:42 am: Realize how quickly that beer snuck up on you because of the Lantern the night before. Make way to popcorn machine.
8:50 am: Game time
9:30 am: Enjoy talking to family friends about future plans. And by enjoy, I mean tell the same repetitive speal to thirty to forty people. Last year mine was, "Hey, yeah, I'm actually moving Australia for a year to play semi-pro lacrosse...Yeah, you know, it will be a good year off...such a tough job market and Ive always wanted to do it...Yeah Im serious. I am actually going. The flight is booked...Yes they play lacrosse there...Is that...sorry Mr. (family friend name here) I need to go speak to Mr. (insert other family friend name here).
9:31 am: Grab another Miller Lite
9:32 am: Start talking to Mr. (other family friend name here). "Hey, yeah, I'm actually moving Australia for a year to play semi-pro lacrosse...Yeah, you know, it will be a good year off...such a tough job market. Et Cetra, Et Cetra.
Semi-Pro lacrosse...hah overstatement of the decade. More like semi-serious. Really fun though.
10:30 am: Get psyched for the parade to begin.
10:32 am: Tell friends of syblings that I will not get them a beer. We did it on our own, they can do it all on their own. No one cares. Just dont be an ass about it.
10:38 am: Kids start to be asses about it. Oh well, I guess we were too
10:45 am: Get table-topped by Chris McNelly and vow to get him when he least expects it.
10:47 am: Watch my own back as everyone in sight is being table topped. This is just what George Washington had in mind to celebrate our Independence.
11:02 am: Watch the LFHS Pom Squad do their routine. Feel old. Feel creepy. Take a gulp of Miller Lite. Sob. Feel the need to wash my hands.
11:08 am: Mock the marching band from Glenbard East Metro playing Don't Stop Believing. Praise the Lord that I am Wes McGowan sitting on Chris Dobbins' front lawn and not the sweaty, acne harboring dungeons and dragons grand champion brandishing a recently polished trombone in a delightfully unflattering one-piece suit that highlights the extra forty pounds of flab attributed to hot pockets and pizza bagels in the bread basket and the distinct lack of a rear end except for the three square inches of nylon being devourned by the diminished crack. At least my extra five to seven lbs is from something cool. Beer and mom's cooking.
11:18 am: The moment we've all been waiting for: The Lawn Mower Brigade. Debate exactly what satirical theme they are going for this year. Something to do with Michael Jackson...or the pope? Quickly realize that they are really only funny because they are piss drunk middle aged men that should be hidden from all women and children and potentially given DUIs or public intox.
11:30 am: Parade is finished. Continue socializing.
12:00 pm: The Dobbins' are shutting up shop. Time to move. COnvince the weak that a nap is a horrendous decision that will have serious consequences. Go Dave's house and, god willing, enjoy round two of the greatest party in the history of Lake Forest.
All of that is before noon. As I said and anyone will attest, the greatest day to be American (and from Lake Forest/Lake Bluff).
Back to Australia:
I am here for just over two more months. It is all going to be pretty routine with lacrosse and work taking up all of my time, but it is a great routine.
Look out for the video soon. It will make your day. Or you will have too slow of a connection and get pissed off at the HD content and watch 2 minutes of it. Here's to hoping for the former.
Cheers
It has been quite a while since I have updated this bad boy. The last time I wrote was just before headed on a quick weekend trip down the Great Ocean Road. That trip was very fun. It is an absolutely amazing road. Driving on the wrong side of the road around hairpin turns with sheer drops into the ocean require extreme concentration. Unluckily for Riley, he chose to drive first...
On our way there we found a Thirsty Camel Drive Through Beer Store. A concept which I still find hard to come to grips with. Suspect franchise aside, we picked up some beers and all of the non-drivers started sipping (which is totally legal in Australia, relax mom) before the real drive began. Before we knew it, there was a party going on in the car and poor Riley had to suffer through not only having to watch the road as opposed to the scenery, but maintaining complete focus. Sucker. The rest of the trip was fun. The 12 Apostles are exactly what you would imagine: breathtaking for about an hour then you go home. That weekend was merely a warm-up lap for the mammoth road trip to come.
Given the window of opportunity of a three week mid-season break from lacrose, Riley and I used his final weeks in Australia on the road completeing the majority of the Australian East Coast. And it was sweet.
I made sure to bring along the ole video camera and I am half way through a video that documents our trip. I won't spoil any details, as the video will be up here and on vimeo within a week, but here is a basic outline. And by basic, I mean less that bare bones.
Day 1: Wake up/stay up until 4:00 am to get a cab to Melbourne Airport. Fly to Brisbane, which is in Southern Queensland (the most northeastern territory). Pick up the Campervan. Drive to Surfer's Paradise. Walk around various surf shops realizing that we are too American/unable to surf/broke to buy any of the fresh mondo tubular clothes. Drive to Byron Bay. Realize that we have entered the greatest place in Australia, as you will see in the video.
Day 2-5: Hang out and do various cheeky activities in Byron Bay.
Day 6: Begin the route to Sydney, stopping over in some random fishing town for the night.
Day 7: Wake up in the van parked on the beach. Drive to Sydney to see Casey Krauss and her friends for the night.
Day 8: Check out Sydney and decide to stay another night
Day 9-10: Buy lackluster camping supplies and head into the wilderness of the Blue Mountains to camp/hike. Nearly freeze to death at night and sweat profusely while hiking out of the valley. Use compass. Feel like Bear Grylls.
Day 11-14: Stay in various random towns along a stunning coastal drive ending in Melbourne. Get lost a few times. Bask in own Glory. Enjoy depleting hygene.
As the video will show, the road trip was an amazing time. A great send off for Riley.
The last few weeks have been fairly routine. Work, Lacrosse, etc. On a positive note, two nights ago a great friend from earlier in the trip came back to Melbourne and is living with us. He is a MASSIVE Liverpool Soccer fan and it was pretty brutal to watch the demise of England's World Cup Dreams with him last night. He is a horror. It was fun to see the US do fairly well, but in the end...We don't like soccer right? Unless we win that is. Its nice having a history of mediocrity and cynicism to fall back on after losing to Ghana. I'd like to think of it as letting others have a turn with the shiny new toy that is dominating everything. Enjoy it Ghana. You'll be back to doing...well...ummm...whatever it is that you do when you aren't practicing for the world cup. Herding?
This week will end on a very sober note as I will be missing the single greatest day to be an American (all things considered, that must be a pretty damn good day): The Fourth of July.
Even though I am having an amazing experience in Australia, there is nothing in the world that I would rather do than arrive at the Dobbins household at 8:30 am to begin everyone's favorite day of the year.
8:30 am: Break into first ice cold Miller Lite in a red solo Cup from one of four kegs.
8:42 am: Realize how quickly that beer snuck up on you because of the Lantern the night before. Make way to popcorn machine.
8:50 am: Game time
9:30 am: Enjoy talking to family friends about future plans. And by enjoy, I mean tell the same repetitive speal to thirty to forty people. Last year mine was, "Hey, yeah, I'm actually moving Australia for a year to play semi-pro lacrosse...Yeah, you know, it will be a good year off...such a tough job market and Ive always wanted to do it...Yeah Im serious. I am actually going. The flight is booked...Yes they play lacrosse there...Is that...sorry Mr. (family friend name here) I need to go speak to Mr. (insert other family friend name here).
9:31 am: Grab another Miller Lite
9:32 am: Start talking to Mr. (other family friend name here). "Hey, yeah, I'm actually moving Australia for a year to play semi-pro lacrosse...Yeah, you know, it will be a good year off...such a tough job market. Et Cetra, Et Cetra.
Semi-Pro lacrosse...hah overstatement of the decade. More like semi-serious. Really fun though.
10:30 am: Get psyched for the parade to begin.
10:32 am: Tell friends of syblings that I will not get them a beer. We did it on our own, they can do it all on their own. No one cares. Just dont be an ass about it.
10:38 am: Kids start to be asses about it. Oh well, I guess we were too
10:45 am: Get table-topped by Chris McNelly and vow to get him when he least expects it.
10:47 am: Watch my own back as everyone in sight is being table topped. This is just what George Washington had in mind to celebrate our Independence.
11:02 am: Watch the LFHS Pom Squad do their routine. Feel old. Feel creepy. Take a gulp of Miller Lite. Sob. Feel the need to wash my hands.
11:08 am: Mock the marching band from Glenbard East Metro playing Don't Stop Believing. Praise the Lord that I am Wes McGowan sitting on Chris Dobbins' front lawn and not the sweaty, acne harboring dungeons and dragons grand champion brandishing a recently polished trombone in a delightfully unflattering one-piece suit that highlights the extra forty pounds of flab attributed to hot pockets and pizza bagels in the bread basket and the distinct lack of a rear end except for the three square inches of nylon being devourned by the diminished crack. At least my extra five to seven lbs is from something cool. Beer and mom's cooking.
11:18 am: The moment we've all been waiting for: The Lawn Mower Brigade. Debate exactly what satirical theme they are going for this year. Something to do with Michael Jackson...or the pope? Quickly realize that they are really only funny because they are piss drunk middle aged men that should be hidden from all women and children and potentially given DUIs or public intox.
11:30 am: Parade is finished. Continue socializing.
12:00 pm: The Dobbins' are shutting up shop. Time to move. COnvince the weak that a nap is a horrendous decision that will have serious consequences. Go Dave's house and, god willing, enjoy round two of the greatest party in the history of Lake Forest.
All of that is before noon. As I said and anyone will attest, the greatest day to be American (and from Lake Forest/Lake Bluff).
Back to Australia:
I am here for just over two more months. It is all going to be pretty routine with lacrosse and work taking up all of my time, but it is a great routine.
Look out for the video soon. It will make your day. Or you will have too slow of a connection and get pissed off at the HD content and watch 2 minutes of it. Here's to hoping for the former.
Cheers
Monday, May 24, 2010
ROOOAD TRIP
'Ello, 'Ello,
Since my last post there has been several exciting developments. Riley's knee is officially torn, but he has taken a page out of Tom Selleck's book and grown a mustache. Incidentally, when you have a mustache you are no longer prone to the effects of pain.
That being said, we are taking two adventures in two weeks. The first of which begins in two hours.
Part 1: The Great Ocean Road
The Great Ocean Road is the iconic drive along the coast headed West out of Melbourne. It is home to the Twelve Apostles...
All five room mates are attending the journey and we are taking a hilarious old station wagon. I am looking forward to driving for the first time in 7 MONTHS. Chew on that for a while. Since being 16 I have driven a car almost every day. Now I get to completely relearn everything by driving on the left side of the road. Luckily the car is not manual because I am confident that I am not capable of shifting gears with my left hand. That just seems silly and unnatural. Like white men dancing.
Anyway, we are going to stay two nights at the finish line of the Great Ocean Road in some seedy hostel. It should be a great time.
I will update part 2 later because we are walking out of the internet cafe right now in order to hit the road!
Peace
Since my last post there has been several exciting developments. Riley's knee is officially torn, but he has taken a page out of Tom Selleck's book and grown a mustache. Incidentally, when you have a mustache you are no longer prone to the effects of pain.
That being said, we are taking two adventures in two weeks. The first of which begins in two hours.
Part 1: The Great Ocean Road
The Great Ocean Road is the iconic drive along the coast headed West out of Melbourne. It is home to the Twelve Apostles...
All five room mates are attending the journey and we are taking a hilarious old station wagon. I am looking forward to driving for the first time in 7 MONTHS. Chew on that for a while. Since being 16 I have driven a car almost every day. Now I get to completely relearn everything by driving on the left side of the road. Luckily the car is not manual because I am confident that I am not capable of shifting gears with my left hand. That just seems silly and unnatural. Like white men dancing.
Anyway, we are going to stay two nights at the finish line of the Great Ocean Road in some seedy hostel. It should be a great time.
I will update part 2 later because we are walking out of the internet cafe right now in order to hit the road!
Peace
Monday, April 26, 2010
BOOM goes the ACL...
Bad News. In our game last Saturday, Riley, most likely, re-tore his ACL. He is pretty confident that it is torn again because it feels just like the last time he did it. Unfortunately, along with no lacrosse, that means he can no longer work/afford to live here so if it is actually torn, he will probably have to get surgery and leave. Major bummer.
This makes lacrosse a little less of a priority. I am tempted to go traveling the east coast for a month or so and bail. We'll see. This is where you all come in...
Does anyone (perhaps a recent graduate or someone unhappy with their current job) feel like leaving the US of A and renting a van and driving the east coast of Australia? I am dead serious. It is supposed to be an amazing drive and I dont want to leave without doing it. Drop me a line at wesmcg@gmail.com if you are interested!
Cheers. Drop Riley a line as well to wish him well. Kid deserves it.
This makes lacrosse a little less of a priority. I am tempted to go traveling the east coast for a month or so and bail. We'll see. This is where you all come in...
Does anyone (perhaps a recent graduate or someone unhappy with their current job) feel like leaving the US of A and renting a van and driving the east coast of Australia? I am dead serious. It is supposed to be an amazing drive and I dont want to leave without doing it. Drop me a line at wesmcg@gmail.com if you are interested!
Cheers. Drop Riley a line as well to wish him well. Kid deserves it.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
A different breed
G'day all. Don't worry, I still do not use g'day anywhere but the first sentence in my blog posts. Well...I guess I mutter it under my breath when the hyper-aussie, ultra-caffeinated, cafe owner next to our apartment greets me with a "Awwwww, G'DAY MATE!" I cant help but say something other than "Yo, Dude."
Anyway, last Saturday was our lax home opener. The game was fine. We started off very slow against Melbourne University. They had a three goal lead at one point despite being far less talented. We stepped it up in the second half and won by 9 or 10. Mr. Kearns posting a 7 goal performance.
It was a great day that started with me coaching my team of under-11 kids at 9am an hour away. This is going to be a regular thing on Saturdays, which is less than preferable, but at least it will allow me to be awake for our 2pm games. It was our first game at home and it was a special day because all three divisions of the men's teams were playing at home, at the same time (Div.2, Div.1, and State League). Think of Div.1 and Div.2 as all of our friends that are around lacrosse all the time and understand it well, but have never played formally or decently in high school.
This led to a pretty large crowd during the games and, perhaps more importantly, after the game in the club house. Everyone hangs around outside and in the bar/club area just talking about the games and fun stories usually involving the very frequent in-game fights. Some of these guys have the temper of Terry Tate the Office Line Backer. Anything can make them snap and absolutely try to eliminate the competition. Very blue collar attitude. Not very lax, but whatever.
2 hours into the post-lax brewhaha, the president of the club got everyone silent to begin some sort of speech. There were about 100 people in the room. 50 complete strangers. After welcoming everyone to the opening of the club house he signaled that it was time to do the post-game analysis and wrap-up...of every team in the club. Funny thing is, my team is the youngest so they start there.
Here I am, 4-5 beers down being told that I have to speak to all of these people about how each of their sons (or daughters as we have a few girls on my team for numbers' sake. gross.) performed in detail.
No one ever mentioned this to me. I know all of the kids by their first names and all I had was a list of last names to go by. Luckily, we won one of our two games so they had something to cheer about despite my lack of preparation. Riley, on the other hand, had to tell the club how his under-16s lost 17-4 and he was forced to discipline them by taking away the chairs they sit on for a bench. Awkward.
Around 9pm, things get messy and they begin to close the bar. That is, unless someone rings "the bell." There is a large bell on the side of the bar that if someone feels compelled to ring, they buy everyone in the bar a drink. I have yet to experience this. Multiple "team mates" have attemtped to convince me that ringing the bell means everyone buys you a drink. It sounded amazing...too good to be true, so I declined. I think, however, that they should have a massive gong if you want to buy everyone a round, and a little tampon shaped bell if you want someone to buy you one.
Everyone typically heads into the city after the club shuts down. Saturday night we went to a Rock and Roll Bar (I capitalize Rock and Roll because this place takes it very seriously). It was a ridiculous place. I half expected Cassandra's band Crucial Taunt from Waynes World to show up. There were multiple people there with fully blown out 80s rocker get ups.
This did not amuse our team Captain (and, I kid you not, convicted felon who has served 4 months time for beating the piss out of someone) named Monster. He is also the most financially successful player on the squad. He works in finance where most everyone else is some sort of tradesman, or tradies as they are called here. After buying about 4 rounds of 15 jager bombs and beers (think $400+), he really hated most of the patrons of this establishment.
10 minutes later, we all get kicked out for being associated with him. Riley and I decided that it was a good idea to hit up Hungry Jacks and catch a tram home while they were still running. What? I never said that it was going to be an amazing Tucker Max story!
We are off to dinner tonight at a place called Captain America's with some people from work. It is an American themed restaurant with great food and tons of random American memorobilia on the walls. Also, the serve Budweiser in a car. A RARE delicacy in this godforsaken land of beers. Hope you are all enjoying your glimpses of the same weather I have and will continue to enjoy down unda!
Cheers.
Anyway, last Saturday was our lax home opener. The game was fine. We started off very slow against Melbourne University. They had a three goal lead at one point despite being far less talented. We stepped it up in the second half and won by 9 or 10. Mr. Kearns posting a 7 goal performance.
It was a great day that started with me coaching my team of under-11 kids at 9am an hour away. This is going to be a regular thing on Saturdays, which is less than preferable, but at least it will allow me to be awake for our 2pm games. It was our first game at home and it was a special day because all three divisions of the men's teams were playing at home, at the same time (Div.2, Div.1, and State League). Think of Div.1 and Div.2 as all of our friends that are around lacrosse all the time and understand it well, but have never played formally or decently in high school.
This led to a pretty large crowd during the games and, perhaps more importantly, after the game in the club house. Everyone hangs around outside and in the bar/club area just talking about the games and fun stories usually involving the very frequent in-game fights. Some of these guys have the temper of Terry Tate the Office Line Backer. Anything can make them snap and absolutely try to eliminate the competition. Very blue collar attitude. Not very lax, but whatever.
2 hours into the post-lax brewhaha, the president of the club got everyone silent to begin some sort of speech. There were about 100 people in the room. 50 complete strangers. After welcoming everyone to the opening of the club house he signaled that it was time to do the post-game analysis and wrap-up...of every team in the club. Funny thing is, my team is the youngest so they start there.
Here I am, 4-5 beers down being told that I have to speak to all of these people about how each of their sons (or daughters as we have a few girls on my team for numbers' sake. gross.) performed in detail.
No one ever mentioned this to me. I know all of the kids by their first names and all I had was a list of last names to go by. Luckily, we won one of our two games so they had something to cheer about despite my lack of preparation. Riley, on the other hand, had to tell the club how his under-16s lost 17-4 and he was forced to discipline them by taking away the chairs they sit on for a bench. Awkward.
Around 9pm, things get messy and they begin to close the bar. That is, unless someone rings "the bell." There is a large bell on the side of the bar that if someone feels compelled to ring, they buy everyone in the bar a drink. I have yet to experience this. Multiple "team mates" have attemtped to convince me that ringing the bell means everyone buys you a drink. It sounded amazing...too good to be true, so I declined. I think, however, that they should have a massive gong if you want to buy everyone a round, and a little tampon shaped bell if you want someone to buy you one.
Everyone typically heads into the city after the club shuts down. Saturday night we went to a Rock and Roll Bar (I capitalize Rock and Roll because this place takes it very seriously). It was a ridiculous place. I half expected Cassandra's band Crucial Taunt from Waynes World to show up. There were multiple people there with fully blown out 80s rocker get ups.
This did not amuse our team Captain (and, I kid you not, convicted felon who has served 4 months time for beating the piss out of someone) named Monster. He is also the most financially successful player on the squad. He works in finance where most everyone else is some sort of tradesman, or tradies as they are called here. After buying about 4 rounds of 15 jager bombs and beers (think $400+), he really hated most of the patrons of this establishment.
10 minutes later, we all get kicked out for being associated with him. Riley and I decided that it was a good idea to hit up Hungry Jacks and catch a tram home while they were still running. What? I never said that it was going to be an amazing Tucker Max story!
We are off to dinner tonight at a place called Captain America's with some people from work. It is an American themed restaurant with great food and tons of random American memorobilia on the walls. Also, the serve Budweiser in a car. A RARE delicacy in this godforsaken land of beers. Hope you are all enjoying your glimpses of the same weather I have and will continue to enjoy down unda!
Cheers.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
What'll It Be Then, Eh?
Hello all.
What can I say? There has not been an overwhelming amount of exciting developments since my last post, hence yet another word drought. Professional writers must lead extremely interesting lives to have the urge to write all the time. The good ones at least. Like Hunter S. Thompson. I just started reading his book Kingdom of Fear, and the life he lives is dominated by eccentric, and sometimes utterly depraved, impulse. Luckily for readers, his favorite impulse is pounding the keys of his typewriter, with outrageous public behavior (usually in a significantly altered state of mind) coming in a close second. As he says, "Morality is temporary, wisdom is permanent."
In an ideal world, this blog would highlight a lavish series of adventures and misadventures throughout the bizarre land of Oz. Unlike Thompson's hay day, the late 60s and early 70s, being broke is a deal breaker. I hate to complain about financial issues, but it is a daily factor in our lives. Whatever, we are still having a blast and we will just be more motivated to get great jobs in the near future.
These days are not without celebration, however. A week and a half ago, I celebrated my 23rd birthday along with 4 other friends from work whose birthday fell within the weekend of the 26th. 5 friends celebrating a birthday together is a very dangerous combination which, should you ever find yourself in this situation, is to be treated with extreme caution. Especially when two of the celebratees are your twin managers born on the 30th who love to spend money.
The night began at our apartment. When asked where I would like to go for the evening, I left it up to the birthday girls with one condition:
"I will go anywhere except for some gay bar that won't let me in because I am not gay and have had more than 3 Bacardi Breezers and a Fuzzy Navel"
My request was granted as we went to a fun bar and hung out for a while without an issue. Of course, as the night went on and the drinks continued to flow, the dames felt the need to cement their status as pieces of meat (some ranking in the prime category, most were flirting with choice at best) by objectifying themselves on a dancefloor at a club. I'm just bitter, girls, we have no problem with you shaking your moneymaker or your milkshake or whatever you want to call it.
As any irrational group of celebrating females (I am being very kind in my terminology) will do, the ladies decided that we should go to a place called "Love Machine." Kill me now. Clearly, this did not sound like my kind of joint, but who was I to argue with a bunch of local girls celebrating another year of good looks departing.
On the way to this mysterious location, I learned that "Love Machine" completely fails to pass any of my aforementioned criteria. It was an exclusive club that is gay on friday nights. Fortunately, it was Saturday night, but...come on. That's like a "bisexual" male attempting to justify his sexuality. Bullshit. If you are, in any way, shape or form, attracted to a dude, you are gay. So we were headed to an exclusive gay club around 1am on my birthday. Cheers.
So we get there and, apparently, one of our friends has set up a birthday guest list. I had one thing on my side. Riley and I were rocking up with bunch of well dressed girls. That means EVERYTHING in the Melbourne social scene. Riley went in first with some of the girls and I was at the back of the line. Massive mistake. I tried to walk in with just one girl. The hostess took one look at me and said. Nope, not tonight. Too crowded. Come back in a half hour.
Fine, I was a little hungry anyway. So we grabbed a quick bite at Hungry Jack's (direct rip off of Burger King). When we went back, the same thing. Come back in a half hour. I was getting frustrated because on my birthday night everyone was inside being gay without me. I let this digest for a little while and went back once again.
Hostess: You again? Not tonight babe.
Me: Really? I just want to know exactly what I did wrong? Am I not gay enough?
(Massive Islander bouncer walking towards me)
Hostess: Sorry we are too crowded
Me: Well I haven't seen a single person in this line for an hour and a half. I think you are just trying to not admit that you are wrong. Or is it because I am American? Huh? (This never works for your reference...)
Hostess: You need to leave right now
Me with massive bouncer looming, but wanting to stay strong: Ya, you would like that you s*** c*** (I was really just trying to cut as deep as possible)
Bouncer systematically "bounces" me and I put up zero fight whatsoever because I am not an idiot.
Happy Birthday! Oh, well. Riley said it was really gay inside anyway.
In other news, Aussie Rules football has started and people are really excited. Its kind of cool I guess. Its just another desperate attempt by Aussies to make something of their own. Its kind of similar to rugby, but less rough and all sorts of weird rules.
We have our first lacrosse game next weekend. Should be interesting. We have a new goalie from Japan who is actually very very good. He would catch blue bullets in his teeth. Its fun to have another Japanese lacrosse player to haze again at this time of year. He is most definitely trained in some martial arts because he blurts out random words as he attacks the ball and when we feed him booze and make him dance in a circle at the bar he does crazy poses.
That's all for now. Happy Easter!
What can I say? There has not been an overwhelming amount of exciting developments since my last post, hence yet another word drought. Professional writers must lead extremely interesting lives to have the urge to write all the time. The good ones at least. Like Hunter S. Thompson. I just started reading his book Kingdom of Fear, and the life he lives is dominated by eccentric, and sometimes utterly depraved, impulse. Luckily for readers, his favorite impulse is pounding the keys of his typewriter, with outrageous public behavior (usually in a significantly altered state of mind) coming in a close second. As he says, "Morality is temporary, wisdom is permanent."
In an ideal world, this blog would highlight a lavish series of adventures and misadventures throughout the bizarre land of Oz. Unlike Thompson's hay day, the late 60s and early 70s, being broke is a deal breaker. I hate to complain about financial issues, but it is a daily factor in our lives. Whatever, we are still having a blast and we will just be more motivated to get great jobs in the near future.
These days are not without celebration, however. A week and a half ago, I celebrated my 23rd birthday along with 4 other friends from work whose birthday fell within the weekend of the 26th. 5 friends celebrating a birthday together is a very dangerous combination which, should you ever find yourself in this situation, is to be treated with extreme caution. Especially when two of the celebratees are your twin managers born on the 30th who love to spend money.
The night began at our apartment. When asked where I would like to go for the evening, I left it up to the birthday girls with one condition:
"I will go anywhere except for some gay bar that won't let me in because I am not gay and have had more than 3 Bacardi Breezers and a Fuzzy Navel"
My request was granted as we went to a fun bar and hung out for a while without an issue. Of course, as the night went on and the drinks continued to flow, the dames felt the need to cement their status as pieces of meat (some ranking in the prime category, most were flirting with choice at best) by objectifying themselves on a dancefloor at a club. I'm just bitter, girls, we have no problem with you shaking your moneymaker or your milkshake or whatever you want to call it.
As any irrational group of celebrating females (I am being very kind in my terminology) will do, the ladies decided that we should go to a place called "Love Machine." Kill me now. Clearly, this did not sound like my kind of joint, but who was I to argue with a bunch of local girls celebrating another year of good looks departing.
On the way to this mysterious location, I learned that "Love Machine" completely fails to pass any of my aforementioned criteria. It was an exclusive club that is gay on friday nights. Fortunately, it was Saturday night, but...come on. That's like a "bisexual" male attempting to justify his sexuality. Bullshit. If you are, in any way, shape or form, attracted to a dude, you are gay. So we were headed to an exclusive gay club around 1am on my birthday. Cheers.
So we get there and, apparently, one of our friends has set up a birthday guest list. I had one thing on my side. Riley and I were rocking up with bunch of well dressed girls. That means EVERYTHING in the Melbourne social scene. Riley went in first with some of the girls and I was at the back of the line. Massive mistake. I tried to walk in with just one girl. The hostess took one look at me and said. Nope, not tonight. Too crowded. Come back in a half hour.
Fine, I was a little hungry anyway. So we grabbed a quick bite at Hungry Jack's (direct rip off of Burger King). When we went back, the same thing. Come back in a half hour. I was getting frustrated because on my birthday night everyone was inside being gay without me. I let this digest for a little while and went back once again.
Hostess: You again? Not tonight babe.
Me: Really? I just want to know exactly what I did wrong? Am I not gay enough?
(Massive Islander bouncer walking towards me)
Hostess: Sorry we are too crowded
Me: Well I haven't seen a single person in this line for an hour and a half. I think you are just trying to not admit that you are wrong. Or is it because I am American? Huh? (This never works for your reference...)
Hostess: You need to leave right now
Me with massive bouncer looming, but wanting to stay strong: Ya, you would like that you s*** c*** (I was really just trying to cut as deep as possible)
Bouncer systematically "bounces" me and I put up zero fight whatsoever because I am not an idiot.
Happy Birthday! Oh, well. Riley said it was really gay inside anyway.
In other news, Aussie Rules football has started and people are really excited. Its kind of cool I guess. Its just another desperate attempt by Aussies to make something of their own. Its kind of similar to rugby, but less rough and all sorts of weird rules.
We have our first lacrosse game next weekend. Should be interesting. We have a new goalie from Japan who is actually very very good. He would catch blue bullets in his teeth. Its fun to have another Japanese lacrosse player to haze again at this time of year. He is most definitely trained in some martial arts because he blurts out random words as he attacks the ball and when we feed him booze and make him dance in a circle at the bar he does crazy poses.
That's all for now. Happy Easter!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Australia: Part Deux
First off, I am sorry for the lack of posts. Its been just over a month. The main reason I haven't been posting is the fact that I have been working a TON and the internet is so unbearably minimal that it is tough to find time/money.
Work has been good. The restaurant is the same as always, but the catering side of work has gotten much more interesting. Recently, I have been working a lot of weddings and, luckily, I have been allocated to the bartender position. Or, as I like to call it, the occasional-beer opener/wine-pourer-and-drinker-of-free-alcohol-while-crouching-beneath-the-bar...tender.
It is an absolute blast working weddings. They are usually outside of Melbourne. For instance, three weeks ago, Riley and I worked a wedding in Myrtleford, a rural town famous for its vineyards. This particular wedding was on top of a, well I won't call it a mountain, but certainly a large hill. The family owned the largest vineyard in Myrtleford. It started out somewhat stressful and boring while we were serving food, but once Riley and I got behind our bar, it got weird. In a good way. The guests are always drunk and encourage you to talk to them and have a drink or six. The end of the night, however, was the highlight.
As we were driving back to our accommodation, we saw a wild kangaroo hoping along the side of the road as they tend to do. Then, one of the most ridiculous things I have ever witnessed in a car occurred. We were just cruising along the road and, all of the sudden, an OWL appeared in our headlights. Now, I can't speak for the driver, but I am assuming he thought:
Ok...Owls seem like smart creatures.
In most cartoon depictions, they are wearing a hat that suggests that graduated from some sort of higher education and they wear monocles.
This little creature should know to get out of the way of a massive amount of twisted steel and sex appeal
This seems like a fair assumption, unfortunately the owl's thought process must have been something to the effect of:
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a....
BAM!
Yes, I witnessed a carrier van demolish some sort of Australian Owl. Awesome. Weird. Sad?
Anyway, last week, Riley and I ticked off another box of things we need to do in Australia: Surfing.
Unfortunately the check in the box is accompanied by a minus sign.
We spent a night outside of Melbourne at one of friends from work's beach house. Luckily, she had a couple of surf boards. We made it our mission, despite it being cold and windy (relatively speaking, suckers) and not having a wetsuit or rash guard, to successfully surf. Come on...I've seen Blue Crush and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I can do that!
Unfortunately it wasn't quite that easy. The first thing I realized was that there is a reason that no good surfers have chest hair. Wax from the board and a forest of man fur mix about as well as box wine and late night kebabs. The pain was nearly unbearable, but it couldn't quell our spirits.
The concept of surfing seems simple: See a big wave, start paddling to gain momentum, catch the wave, pop up, look sweet, grow out blonde hair, buy shell based necklace, denounce footwear, forget proper english, burn out.
Not quite that easy. I "caught" plenty of mondo swells, but the process of paddling was exhausting and standing up was completely out of the question. Very very difficult. I will be the first one to tell you, and so will anyone who has seen me attempt to ride a skatebaord, that boardsports are not my forte (too lazy to put an accent on that). A couple of times, I get semi-close and Riley got very close, but at the end of the 1.5 hour session we were both dejected and exhausted, so we decided to pack it, defeated by Poseidon. Whatever, thats what boats are for.
As of now, we are still in the same apartment. Last night two of our roommates left for New Zealand. Fortunately, we found two immediate replacements. Today, two swedish girls moved in. Cheers. They have been cleaning all day. Benefits of living with girls I guess. The whole speaking in...Swedish?...might get annoying, but luckily they speak English well.
On a completely unrelated note: I am going to steal an idea from an Australian bar called Trader Bar. I really hope they don't already have this in the states...
The concept is a bar that operates like the stock market. Each beer/cocktail starts out at a certain price. Based on how many people are purchasing the drink, the price will rise and fall. Every now and then, however, the market will "crash" and all of the drinks will be a dollar or so. Classic idea.
Non-lax interested people can tune out now. Or pretend you understand/care.
Congrats to the Michigan Lax boys on a tight one against ASU and good luck vs BYU. Our lacrosse has started and it has been interesting. The guys are, for the most part, good athletes that have learned to play...solid lacrosse. They aren't bad, but they have very little theoretical knowledge of the game. The offense is as follows:
6 offensive players, no specific positions. One person at X and one at "the point." Everyone else, run around and set picks. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. It is really painful. The odd thing is, they do it pretty well because they have been playing together for years. It is just extremely different that what we learned at Michigan. We had/have plenty of talent at Michigan, no doubt about that, but our last two seasons were successful because we were extraordinarily disciplined and everyone was on the same page and played within themselves. Not the case here. We will just have to adjust I suppose. At least the guys are a cool group so once our Anglo-friends leave, we will have a new groups of friends.
Anyway, sorry for the lack of updates. I bought a pre-paid mobile broadband card. It is about as slow as my progress in surfing, but it will have to do for now.
Over and Out.
Work has been good. The restaurant is the same as always, but the catering side of work has gotten much more interesting. Recently, I have been working a lot of weddings and, luckily, I have been allocated to the bartender position. Or, as I like to call it, the occasional-beer opener/wine-pourer-and-drinker-of-free-alcohol-while-crouching-beneath-the-bar...tender.
It is an absolute blast working weddings. They are usually outside of Melbourne. For instance, three weeks ago, Riley and I worked a wedding in Myrtleford, a rural town famous for its vineyards. This particular wedding was on top of a, well I won't call it a mountain, but certainly a large hill. The family owned the largest vineyard in Myrtleford. It started out somewhat stressful and boring while we were serving food, but once Riley and I got behind our bar, it got weird. In a good way. The guests are always drunk and encourage you to talk to them and have a drink or six. The end of the night, however, was the highlight.
As we were driving back to our accommodation, we saw a wild kangaroo hoping along the side of the road as they tend to do. Then, one of the most ridiculous things I have ever witnessed in a car occurred. We were just cruising along the road and, all of the sudden, an OWL appeared in our headlights. Now, I can't speak for the driver, but I am assuming he thought:
Ok...Owls seem like smart creatures.
In most cartoon depictions, they are wearing a hat that suggests that graduated from some sort of higher education and they wear monocles.
This little creature should know to get out of the way of a massive amount of twisted steel and sex appeal
This seems like a fair assumption, unfortunately the owl's thought process must have been something to the effect of:
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a....
BAM!
Yes, I witnessed a carrier van demolish some sort of Australian Owl. Awesome. Weird. Sad?
Anyway, last week, Riley and I ticked off another box of things we need to do in Australia: Surfing.
Unfortunately the check in the box is accompanied by a minus sign.
We spent a night outside of Melbourne at one of friends from work's beach house. Luckily, she had a couple of surf boards. We made it our mission, despite it being cold and windy (relatively speaking, suckers) and not having a wetsuit or rash guard, to successfully surf. Come on...I've seen Blue Crush and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I can do that!
Unfortunately it wasn't quite that easy. The first thing I realized was that there is a reason that no good surfers have chest hair. Wax from the board and a forest of man fur mix about as well as box wine and late night kebabs. The pain was nearly unbearable, but it couldn't quell our spirits.
The concept of surfing seems simple: See a big wave, start paddling to gain momentum, catch the wave, pop up, look sweet, grow out blonde hair, buy shell based necklace, denounce footwear, forget proper english, burn out.
Not quite that easy. I "caught" plenty of mondo swells, but the process of paddling was exhausting and standing up was completely out of the question. Very very difficult. I will be the first one to tell you, and so will anyone who has seen me attempt to ride a skatebaord, that boardsports are not my forte (too lazy to put an accent on that). A couple of times, I get semi-close and Riley got very close, but at the end of the 1.5 hour session we were both dejected and exhausted, so we decided to pack it, defeated by Poseidon. Whatever, thats what boats are for.
As of now, we are still in the same apartment. Last night two of our roommates left for New Zealand. Fortunately, we found two immediate replacements. Today, two swedish girls moved in. Cheers. They have been cleaning all day. Benefits of living with girls I guess. The whole speaking in...Swedish?...might get annoying, but luckily they speak English well.
On a completely unrelated note: I am going to steal an idea from an Australian bar called Trader Bar. I really hope they don't already have this in the states...
The concept is a bar that operates like the stock market. Each beer/cocktail starts out at a certain price. Based on how many people are purchasing the drink, the price will rise and fall. Every now and then, however, the market will "crash" and all of the drinks will be a dollar or so. Classic idea.
Non-lax interested people can tune out now. Or pretend you understand/care.
Congrats to the Michigan Lax boys on a tight one against ASU and good luck vs BYU. Our lacrosse has started and it has been interesting. The guys are, for the most part, good athletes that have learned to play...solid lacrosse. They aren't bad, but they have very little theoretical knowledge of the game. The offense is as follows:
6 offensive players, no specific positions. One person at X and one at "the point." Everyone else, run around and set picks. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. It is really painful. The odd thing is, they do it pretty well because they have been playing together for years. It is just extremely different that what we learned at Michigan. We had/have plenty of talent at Michigan, no doubt about that, but our last two seasons were successful because we were extraordinarily disciplined and everyone was on the same page and played within themselves. Not the case here. We will just have to adjust I suppose. At least the guys are a cool group so once our Anglo-friends leave, we will have a new groups of friends.
Anyway, sorry for the lack of updates. I bought a pre-paid mobile broadband card. It is about as slow as my progress in surfing, but it will have to do for now.
Over and Out.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
All Work and Little Play, allows fun later?
G'day mates.
At this point I really never say g'day. Some people do, but I think that it is not really something that is said in cities. I am starting to equate it to "Howdy." I would imagine that an Aussie who started a blog documenting a year long stint in America may start off each post with something to the effect of:
-Howdy Y'all!
-Sup Dawgs?
-Yooooo
I'm still going to stick with g'day to keep your Hollywood depictions of Oz alive and well.
Real life in Oz has not been filled with any Kangaroos or Crocs recently. Although, lots of chefs at work wear the Croc shoes. Gay. Riley and I have been doing everything we can to save money. We typically get about 4 shifts per week at the restaurant and 1 catering event every two weeks. Last night (Sunday) we catered for a massive Jewish wedding. The Jewish population is very different here. They are an EXTREMELY tight knit, and wealthy, community. They are scarcely allowed to socialize with, let alone marry outside of said community. That being said, there are some issues within the Hacidic groups. There tends to be a fair amount of inbreeding that produces some noticable genetic deformities...I don't want to say "Super Jews"...but, you get the idea.
The wedding was really glamorous. It was in a venue that overlooks the whole of Melbourne with nearly a 360 view. Luckily, for the second half of the evening, I got to work alone behind a low traffic bar with an amazing view in 65 degree weather and plenty of kosher wine at my disposal. Maziltoff (when it comes to Hebrew, I'm strictly phoenetical, correct me if you want Ely).
The Kosher aspect of the event was interesting. It was extremely strict with a Rabbi in our kitchen making sure everything was Kosher (in a non-colloqiual sense). The kosher wine was pretty horrendous, but the food was all pretty tasty. Overall, it was a really fun event to work because of the great weather, views, and the fact that I snagged the best job available.
All of the money earned from work has gone to eat and paying rent with the occasional night out. Recently, however, we decided to splurge and go to the Australian Open. Then we realized that the tickets to the main stages were sold out. Oh, well. We got grounds passes, which ended up being a much better investment. We only watched two matches live. Both Men's Doubles. Eh. The highlight was a match involving Fernando Gonzalez. He is an outstanding player, so naturally doubles means nothing to him. He was getting into it with the crowd and his coach and girlfriend (good looking Chilean Tennis player = ridiculous girlfriend) were sitting right in front of us. That was interesting because after close calls he would look up to his coach to determine just how close it was. It was great being there just to say I have gone. The best tennis experience of the week, however, was during the Murray vs. Cilic semi-final.
Riley and I went to a place called Federation Square with all of our English friends to watch the match. Federation Square is a public area with a massive projection screen that plays lots of significant sporting matches. For events like the Australian Open, it draws quite a crowd. This is what it looks like:
It was a great atmosphere. We brought some "goon" (box wine) and made a night out of it. The English dudes love their chants. My favorite one was stolen from the entourage that followed prize fighter and blue collar Brit Ricky Hatton. Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland..."There's only oneeeee Andy Murray! There's only oneeeee Andy Murray! Walkin' along, singin' a song. Walkin' in a Murray Wonderland...There's only oneeeee Andy Murray! There's only oneeeee Andy Murray! He used to be shite, but now he's alright. Walkin' in a Murray Wonderland."
Another humorous line I heard a lot throughout the match was the British folk shouting, "C'mon Tim!" This being an allusion to Britain's Champion that never was, Tim Henman. Poor Guy. I, for one, would never want to have the weight of British fans resting solely on my shoulders to win in Tennis.
The funny thing is, Murray is Scottish and has been quoted, when asked who he will support in the world cup, "Anyone who is playing England." As England is playing the USA in the first round, I guess he is supporting America. And William Wallace.
FREEEEEEDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!
Unfortunately, we worked last night so we couldn't watch the final. As if there were a chance that Murray would win.
Before lacrosse starts, we really want to take some sort of trip outside of Melbourne. As of now, the plan sounds pretty awesome.
For all of you who have no idea where Kansas is, let alone Melbourne, it is in the very South-East of Australia. Our plan is to rent a camper-van and drive North through the Bush/Outback until we are parallel with Sydney and have taken out a minumum of 3 dingos each through any means necessary. At that point we will go East to Sydney, spend a few nights there with Casey Krauss (Pete's sister lives there currently), then travel down the east coast hitting all of the major cities. Should be a blast. If we remember to drive on the wrong side of the road, that is.
In other news, Trance Armstrong and Beat Sampras will be headlining Ladies Night at the 29th Apartment tonight. So if you want to catch a $1500 return flight, get on it now. We start at 9pm-3am. Free Champagne for girls from 9-11. Then they will all leave. Getting paid $40 and free drinks. We are in the big time, I tell ya.
4 months down, 8 to go. Cheers.
At this point I really never say g'day. Some people do, but I think that it is not really something that is said in cities. I am starting to equate it to "Howdy." I would imagine that an Aussie who started a blog documenting a year long stint in America may start off each post with something to the effect of:
-Howdy Y'all!
-Sup Dawgs?
-Yooooo
I'm still going to stick with g'day to keep your Hollywood depictions of Oz alive and well.
Real life in Oz has not been filled with any Kangaroos or Crocs recently. Although, lots of chefs at work wear the Croc shoes. Gay. Riley and I have been doing everything we can to save money. We typically get about 4 shifts per week at the restaurant and 1 catering event every two weeks. Last night (Sunday) we catered for a massive Jewish wedding. The Jewish population is very different here. They are an EXTREMELY tight knit, and wealthy, community. They are scarcely allowed to socialize with, let alone marry outside of said community. That being said, there are some issues within the Hacidic groups. There tends to be a fair amount of inbreeding that produces some noticable genetic deformities...I don't want to say "Super Jews"...but, you get the idea.
The wedding was really glamorous. It was in a venue that overlooks the whole of Melbourne with nearly a 360 view. Luckily, for the second half of the evening, I got to work alone behind a low traffic bar with an amazing view in 65 degree weather and plenty of kosher wine at my disposal. Maziltoff (when it comes to Hebrew, I'm strictly phoenetical, correct me if you want Ely).
The Kosher aspect of the event was interesting. It was extremely strict with a Rabbi in our kitchen making sure everything was Kosher (in a non-colloqiual sense). The kosher wine was pretty horrendous, but the food was all pretty tasty. Overall, it was a really fun event to work because of the great weather, views, and the fact that I snagged the best job available.
All of the money earned from work has gone to eat and paying rent with the occasional night out. Recently, however, we decided to splurge and go to the Australian Open. Then we realized that the tickets to the main stages were sold out. Oh, well. We got grounds passes, which ended up being a much better investment. We only watched two matches live. Both Men's Doubles. Eh. The highlight was a match involving Fernando Gonzalez. He is an outstanding player, so naturally doubles means nothing to him. He was getting into it with the crowd and his coach and girlfriend (good looking Chilean Tennis player = ridiculous girlfriend) were sitting right in front of us. That was interesting because after close calls he would look up to his coach to determine just how close it was. It was great being there just to say I have gone. The best tennis experience of the week, however, was during the Murray vs. Cilic semi-final.
Riley and I went to a place called Federation Square with all of our English friends to watch the match. Federation Square is a public area with a massive projection screen that plays lots of significant sporting matches. For events like the Australian Open, it draws quite a crowd. This is what it looks like:
It was a great atmosphere. We brought some "goon" (box wine) and made a night out of it. The English dudes love their chants. My favorite one was stolen from the entourage that followed prize fighter and blue collar Brit Ricky Hatton. Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland..."There's only oneeeee Andy Murray! There's only oneeeee Andy Murray! Walkin' along, singin' a song. Walkin' in a Murray Wonderland...There's only oneeeee Andy Murray! There's only oneeeee Andy Murray! He used to be shite, but now he's alright. Walkin' in a Murray Wonderland."
Another humorous line I heard a lot throughout the match was the British folk shouting, "C'mon Tim!" This being an allusion to Britain's Champion that never was, Tim Henman. Poor Guy. I, for one, would never want to have the weight of British fans resting solely on my shoulders to win in Tennis.
The funny thing is, Murray is Scottish and has been quoted, when asked who he will support in the world cup, "Anyone who is playing England." As England is playing the USA in the first round, I guess he is supporting America. And William Wallace.
FREEEEEEDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!
Unfortunately, we worked last night so we couldn't watch the final. As if there were a chance that Murray would win.
Before lacrosse starts, we really want to take some sort of trip outside of Melbourne. As of now, the plan sounds pretty awesome.
For all of you who have no idea where Kansas is, let alone Melbourne, it is in the very South-East of Australia. Our plan is to rent a camper-van and drive North through the Bush/Outback until we are parallel with Sydney and have taken out a minumum of 3 dingos each through any means necessary. At that point we will go East to Sydney, spend a few nights there with Casey Krauss (Pete's sister lives there currently), then travel down the east coast hitting all of the major cities. Should be a blast. If we remember to drive on the wrong side of the road, that is.
In other news, Trance Armstrong and Beat Sampras will be headlining Ladies Night at the 29th Apartment tonight. So if you want to catch a $1500 return flight, get on it now. We start at 9pm-3am. Free Champagne for girls from 9-11. Then they will all leave. Getting paid $40 and free drinks. We are in the big time, I tell ya.
4 months down, 8 to go. Cheers.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Update
G'day world.
The Top 5 aussie sayings will have to wait for a little while.
First off, I would like to apologize for my recent lack of posts. As a former room mate of mine says whenever he has a chance, "Excuses are like ass holes... everybody has one and they all stink." Alas, my excuse is that Riley and I have moved out of the Boogie Nights mansion and into an awesome beach town apartment. Everything about this apartment is better than the mansion. We are within minutes of the beach. There are 4 of us splitting 2 rooms as opposed to 14-16 of us splitting 5 rooms. The house is legal to live in. The landlord is a licensed real estate agent and not a 21 year-old Israeli who doesn't follow through on any promises.
The only problem is the lack of free internet. Until we get internet installed in our house, my posts will only occur when the rare combination of inspiration and internet access presents itself.
This post is being made possible by the Lyall Hotel of Melbourne. Currently, me entire family is here in Australia. Unfortunately, my dad is leaving tomorrow, but my mom, Cally, and I are taking a trip up North to Dunk Island near the Great Barrier Reef.
Be Jealous.
Be very jealous.
It seems a little odd to be taking a vacation, as I feel like I am technically still on vacation from the US, but I will take what I can get.
It has been great having the family here. It has been a long time since I have seen them, so it was nice to see some familiar faces, but the best part was having them here to do things that, on my limited budget, I have not been able to do. Luckily, they have changed that.
(Pre-Family)
Wes's Bucket List: Australia
Meet an Australian: Check
Get away with calling someone mate: Check
Visit a beach: Check
Get a job: $$
Start a sweet blog: Check
Get away with wearing a v-neck: Check plus, unfortunately
Jump off the pier of a crowded beach on X-Day in my skimpies: Check
Start a "U-S-A" Chant around zero Americans: Check
Rock the faces off a crowd as a DJ: Check
Entice a group of strangers to join me in the timeless Paul McCartney "Hey Baby": Hoo Ha
Snap some necks and cash some: Checks
See a Koala:
See a Kangaroo:
See a Boomerang:
Leave Melbourne:
Eat an outstanding meal:
Post-Family
Leave Melbourne: Awesome wildlife preserve and winery tours
Eat an outstanding meal: Every night
See a Koala:
See a Kangaroo:
See a Boomerang:
Now all I need to do is get up on a surf board. Anyone who has ever seen me attempt to ride a skateboard will attest to the loftiness of this goal.
Anyway, having the family here has been great, but I have been up to other things as well.
I am not sure if I have blogged about this, but Riley and I have finally found steady work. We work in a restaurant newly started by the catering company for whom we have been working. The restaurant is called Capital Kitchen and it is in the Chadstone Shopping Center, which is like the Mall of America, but its not located in Minnesota, it doesn't revolve around a pathetic roller coaster, it doesn't have a stupid lego display, and it doesn't look like an inner-city baltimore public school on the inside. As a matter of fact, it is quite stunningly beautiful. Like me. On my good days. Once a week. For an hour. At night.
I have recently perfected a new art form in the workplace. I have set myself above the rest (in my mind at least) as the best at my new artistic position. I am the man behind the salad bar. Do not be deceived by the name. The salad bar not only contains salads, but 40% of the sandwiches sold by the cafe. To be frank, the salads are a pain and they make my job way less masculine, but manning the Cooking Cadre (my three grilling machines) is my calling. Most people hate the stress of having all of the servers shove dockets with orders in their face and having to quickly cook and manage "heaps" of orders at once, but I love it. It allows me to not be a server and walk around pretending to do something and have my manager tell me to, in order to look busy, wipe down more tables or wash the cabinets (yes, I have been told to wash cabinets. ???) Plus, the time from 11am-2pm goes as quickly as a 16 year old boy. Off color? My blog. My rules. I rule. iRule? Maybe thinking up iPhone apps should be my new calling if I burn out on the whole Cooking Cadre thing. Ba dum CHI.
I figure I may as well keep writing as the Island probably won't have much internet availability seeing as the second largest city in the country is pretty weak in that category.
2010!
Guess what? I got to celebrate the new year before any of you did! And what a New Years it was.
For various reasons, not the least of which being laziness and dwindling account balances, Riley, my room mates OB and Craig, and I decided for forgo the standard New Years Eve. We did not want to spend $150 to be stuck in the same mediocre bar just to get some free champagne. Instead, we started at our rather rambunctious neighbors apartment and continued to celebrate at the beach. Unfortunately, as we were starting to bring in 2010 with our neighbors, a violent thunderstorm commenced. Not to be deterred, we let the local brew of choice do its job and convince us that the torrential downpour and lightning was a mere drizzle spell. Off to the beach!
Best decision ever.
Tons of people were down there having a great time and waiting for the fireworks at midnight over the city skyline. It was really nice to see the fireworks from the beach. They were shot from the tops of different sky scrapers which gave a great landscape view of the city. The fireworks got everyone really rowdy, way too rowdy for any other types of fireworks to be on anyone's mind.
The most fun part was, in the spirit of one Graham Townsend, getting as many people as we could the join us in singing this classic sing-a-long:
It worked beautifully. Unfortunately, I could not speak very well the next day. I still remember a group of 10-15 Africans coming a singing the song with us, but barely being able to communicate afterwards. Great Night.
I will leave you with a few pictures. Until next time, Cheers!
The New Apartment
The Master at Work
Family at the beach, duh
At the Beach NYE
Finally update blog: Check
The Top 5 aussie sayings will have to wait for a little while.
First off, I would like to apologize for my recent lack of posts. As a former room mate of mine says whenever he has a chance, "Excuses are like ass holes... everybody has one and they all stink." Alas, my excuse is that Riley and I have moved out of the Boogie Nights mansion and into an awesome beach town apartment. Everything about this apartment is better than the mansion. We are within minutes of the beach. There are 4 of us splitting 2 rooms as opposed to 14-16 of us splitting 5 rooms. The house is legal to live in. The landlord is a licensed real estate agent and not a 21 year-old Israeli who doesn't follow through on any promises.
The only problem is the lack of free internet. Until we get internet installed in our house, my posts will only occur when the rare combination of inspiration and internet access presents itself.
This post is being made possible by the Lyall Hotel of Melbourne. Currently, me entire family is here in Australia. Unfortunately, my dad is leaving tomorrow, but my mom, Cally, and I are taking a trip up North to Dunk Island near the Great Barrier Reef.
Be Jealous.
Be very jealous.
It seems a little odd to be taking a vacation, as I feel like I am technically still on vacation from the US, but I will take what I can get.
It has been great having the family here. It has been a long time since I have seen them, so it was nice to see some familiar faces, but the best part was having them here to do things that, on my limited budget, I have not been able to do. Luckily, they have changed that.
(Pre-Family)
Wes's Bucket List: Australia
Meet an Australian: Check
Get away with calling someone mate: Check
Visit a beach: Check
Get a job: $$
Start a sweet blog: Check
Get away with wearing a v-neck: Check plus, unfortunately
Jump off the pier of a crowded beach on X-Day in my skimpies: Check
Start a "U-S-A" Chant around zero Americans: Check
Rock the faces off a crowd as a DJ: Check
Entice a group of strangers to join me in the timeless Paul McCartney "Hey Baby": Hoo Ha
Snap some necks and cash some: Checks
See a Koala:
See a Kangaroo:
See a Boomerang:
Leave Melbourne:
Eat an outstanding meal:
Post-Family
Leave Melbourne: Awesome wildlife preserve and winery tours
Eat an outstanding meal: Every night
See a Koala:
See a Kangaroo:
See a Boomerang:
Now all I need to do is get up on a surf board. Anyone who has ever seen me attempt to ride a skateboard will attest to the loftiness of this goal.
Anyway, having the family here has been great, but I have been up to other things as well.
I am not sure if I have blogged about this, but Riley and I have finally found steady work. We work in a restaurant newly started by the catering company for whom we have been working. The restaurant is called Capital Kitchen and it is in the Chadstone Shopping Center, which is like the Mall of America, but its not located in Minnesota, it doesn't revolve around a pathetic roller coaster, it doesn't have a stupid lego display, and it doesn't look like an inner-city baltimore public school on the inside. As a matter of fact, it is quite stunningly beautiful. Like me. On my good days. Once a week. For an hour. At night.
I have recently perfected a new art form in the workplace. I have set myself above the rest (in my mind at least) as the best at my new artistic position. I am the man behind the salad bar. Do not be deceived by the name. The salad bar not only contains salads, but 40% of the sandwiches sold by the cafe. To be frank, the salads are a pain and they make my job way less masculine, but manning the Cooking Cadre (my three grilling machines) is my calling. Most people hate the stress of having all of the servers shove dockets with orders in their face and having to quickly cook and manage "heaps" of orders at once, but I love it. It allows me to not be a server and walk around pretending to do something and have my manager tell me to, in order to look busy, wipe down more tables or wash the cabinets (yes, I have been told to wash cabinets. ???) Plus, the time from 11am-2pm goes as quickly as a 16 year old boy. Off color? My blog. My rules. I rule. iRule? Maybe thinking up iPhone apps should be my new calling if I burn out on the whole Cooking Cadre thing. Ba dum CHI.
I figure I may as well keep writing as the Island probably won't have much internet availability seeing as the second largest city in the country is pretty weak in that category.
2010!
Guess what? I got to celebrate the new year before any of you did! And what a New Years it was.
For various reasons, not the least of which being laziness and dwindling account balances, Riley, my room mates OB and Craig, and I decided for forgo the standard New Years Eve. We did not want to spend $150 to be stuck in the same mediocre bar just to get some free champagne. Instead, we started at our rather rambunctious neighbors apartment and continued to celebrate at the beach. Unfortunately, as we were starting to bring in 2010 with our neighbors, a violent thunderstorm commenced. Not to be deterred, we let the local brew of choice do its job and convince us that the torrential downpour and lightning was a mere drizzle spell. Off to the beach!
Best decision ever.
Tons of people were down there having a great time and waiting for the fireworks at midnight over the city skyline. It was really nice to see the fireworks from the beach. They were shot from the tops of different sky scrapers which gave a great landscape view of the city. The fireworks got everyone really rowdy, way too rowdy for any other types of fireworks to be on anyone's mind.
The most fun part was, in the spirit of one Graham Townsend, getting as many people as we could the join us in singing this classic sing-a-long:
It worked beautifully. Unfortunately, I could not speak very well the next day. I still remember a group of 10-15 Africans coming a singing the song with us, but barely being able to communicate afterwards. Great Night.
I will leave you with a few pictures. Until next time, Cheers!
The New Apartment
The Master at Work
Family at the beach, duh
At the Beach NYE
Finally update blog: Check
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