A different breed

G'day all. Don't worry, I still do not use g'day anywhere but the first sentence in my blog posts. Well...I guess I mutter it under my breath when the hyper-aussie, ultra-caffeinated, cafe owner next to our apartment greets me with a "Awwwww, G'DAY MATE!" I cant help but say something other than "Yo, Dude."

Anyway, last Saturday was our lax home opener. The game was fine. We started off very slow against Melbourne University. They had a three goal lead at one point despite being far less talented. We stepped it up in the second half and won by 9 or 10. Mr. Kearns posting a 7 goal performance.

It was a great day that started with me coaching my team of under-11 kids at 9am an hour away. This is going to be a regular thing on Saturdays, which is less than preferable, but at least it will allow me to be awake for our 2pm games. It was our first game at home and it was a special day because all three divisions of the men's teams were playing at home, at the same time (Div.2, Div.1, and State League). Think of Div.1 and Div.2 as all of our friends that are around lacrosse all the time and understand it well, but have never played formally or decently in high school.

This led to a pretty large crowd during the games and, perhaps more importantly, after the game in the club house. Everyone hangs around outside and in the bar/club area just talking about the games and fun stories usually involving the very frequent in-game fights. Some of these guys have the temper of Terry Tate the Office Line Backer. Anything can make them snap and absolutely try to eliminate the competition. Very blue collar attitude. Not very lax, but whatever.

2 hours into the post-lax brewhaha, the president of the club got everyone silent to begin some sort of speech. There were about 100 people in the room. 50 complete strangers. After welcoming everyone to the opening of the club house he signaled that it was time to do the post-game analysis and wrap-up...of every team in the club. Funny thing is, my team is the youngest so they start there.

Here I am, 4-5 beers down being told that I have to speak to all of these people about how each of their sons (or daughters as we have a few girls on my team for numbers' sake. gross.) performed in detail.

No one ever mentioned this to me. I know all of the kids by their first names and all I had was a list of last names to go by. Luckily, we won one of our two games so they had something to cheer about despite my lack of preparation. Riley, on the other hand, had to tell the club how his under-16s lost 17-4 and he was forced to discipline them by taking away the chairs they sit on for a bench. Awkward.

Around 9pm, things get messy and they begin to close the bar. That is, unless someone rings "the bell." There is a large bell on the side of the bar that if someone feels compelled to ring, they buy everyone in the bar a drink. I have yet to experience this. Multiple "team mates" have attemtped to convince me that ringing the bell means everyone buys you a drink. It sounded amazing...too good to be true, so I declined. I think, however, that they should have a massive gong if you want to buy everyone a round, and a little tampon shaped bell if you want someone to buy you one.

Everyone typically heads into the city after the club shuts down. Saturday night we went to a Rock and Roll Bar (I capitalize Rock and Roll because this place takes it very seriously). It was a ridiculous place. I half expected Cassandra's band Crucial Taunt from Waynes World to show up. There were multiple people there with fully blown out 80s rocker get ups.

This did not amuse our team Captain (and, I kid you not, convicted felon who has served 4 months time for beating the piss out of someone) named Monster. He is also the most financially successful player on the squad. He works in finance where most everyone else is some sort of tradesman, or tradies as they are called here. After buying about 4 rounds of 15 jager bombs and beers (think $400+), he really hated most of the patrons of this establishment.

10 minutes later, we all get kicked out for being associated with him. Riley and I decided that it was a good idea to hit up Hungry Jacks and catch a tram home while they were still running. What? I never said that it was going to be an amazing Tucker Max story!

We are off to dinner tonight at a place called Captain America's with some people from work. It is an American themed restaurant with great food and tons of random American memorobilia on the walls. Also, the serve Budweiser in a car. A RARE delicacy in this godforsaken land of beers. Hope you are all enjoying your glimpses of the same weather I have and will continue to enjoy down unda!

Cheers.